“There will be bullies! Not just in the classroom, but in the workforce, in the world. And the world will not always be kind. So it’s really important for us to equip the child with that inner strength, which is of course, another word for resilience.” Fruitful words from National Social Artist, Dr. Ma. Lourdes “Honey” A. Carandang.
I am so honored to represent the Millennial Moms PH community along with my fellow core team member, mommy Icel Ragudo, and be at the intimate discussion about the all-time adversary of parents- Bullying – held at the Henry Sy Sr. Innovation Center in Miriam College, Quezon City.
WE REALLY NEED TO BE MINDFUL OF HOW WE PARENT. That’s my ultimate take away from the program.
Now, parents, here are some important things we need to know about bullying:
It has different kinds:
- Physical – affecting the physical body
- Verbal or Emotional – use of hurtful words
- Relational – means social exclusion for the child. TO BELONG is very important especially on adolescence
- Cyber Bullying – this is just as harmful! Uses technology and has been found as one of the reasons of depression and suicide in the young!
All of these have emotional effect! I learned that teasing is not necessarily bullying. It depends on the impact or the reaction of the person.
The 4 Markers of Bullying
- Imbalance of power
- Intent to harm
- Threat of further aggression to maintain dominance
- Terror / Fear
Bullying is a SYSTEM!
The BULLY, the BULLIED, and the BY STANDER.
REMEMBER: As a by stander, we must intervene! We must do something to stop the bullying. This is very important because if the bullying is not stopped it naturally escalates.
Bullies are in need to feel power. It’s about having power over another. And to feel that sense of power he must put down the other. But let us not forget, the bullies need help too!
The challenge: How to shield our children!
Be an active by stander! Stop, intervene wherever we are. You notice anything, you ask and investigate. We should also create external and internal safe zones for the foundation of self-worth.
We parent the way we were parented or exactly the opposite. Intergenerational Patterns, as explained by Dr. Honey Carandang. Did you ever say to yourself, “I will never be like my mother” or “I will never do to my child what my dad did to us”? Or perhaps, like in my case, we can also say, “I like how I was treated and I’ll do the same to my child.”
Here are the Acts of Mindful Parenting:
- Discipline with Respect/Dignity
- Intervene immediately
By nourishing good values in the family, we are also helping build a nation that is more caring and compassionate. So let us also not forget the power of compassionate discipline. Parenting needs to be authoritative, not authoritarian. Let’s all practice mindful parenting and stop bullying together.